My Beautiful Story

"Emerging from the ashes to embrace the beauty..."

Friday, April 5, 2013

"Family" Impossible

 Have you ever watched the Food Network show, Restaurant Impossible? If not, allow me to give a short description. Robert Irvine is a master chef, restaurant owner, and veteran  who goes into failing restaurants and takes 2 days and $10,000 to fix it up and help them succeed. Some places are worse than others. During the course of the 2 days he has a way of getting to the root of the issues and pointing them out and coming up with ways to help the people overcome their failures. If you have never seen it, I highly recommend it. Last night as I watched an episode, I had a revelation about my family and the loss we faced when Erik died.
 The restaurant that needed help was a family owned business. The mother and father owned it for 40 years, but 3 years ago the father died. Leaving the oldest son to take over along with the help of his brother. When the dad died, something changed for everyone that left the business failing to the point of nearly closing. One thing Robert observed was that after the dad died, everyone lost their passion for the place. It was also obvious that no one really knew how to cook and run the place like him. Even the customers didn't want to go because they missed this man so much and what he brought to the place. The restaurant was not only failing financially, it was absolutely filthy! It was like no one cared anymore. It was at that moment in the show that it hit me! When Erik died, I lost my passion. I lost my passion for home schooling, for structure with my family, for living, and ultimately my passion for Jesus. I just started to let everything go... I stopped caring about so many things. And like the kitchen in that restaurant  the dirt and grime had built up to the point of being hazardous to the health of others. This is exactly how I feel about my kids and my family and even myself. I am not saying that my kids are horrible people. I am not saying my family is horrible. What I am saying is that I have neglected the very things that made my family successful! We aren't losing money, but we have been losing our joy! We have been losing our peace! Just like the restaurant, the brother lost his passion and it began to effect the wait staff. They started not caring either! My kids have watched my example. They have seen my complacent attitude. They have seen my negative attitude. They have seen me put my relationship with Jesus on the back burner of my life. And so, they have followed suit! I can't get Robert Irvine over here to do an episode of Family Impossible and help us out...but I can have the Holy Spirit come in and reveal these things to us! Which He did! He used that simple show to open my eyes! Now I need to seek Him and ask Him for His help to change things around to make my family a success again! Just like the show, I need to change the menu, the interior, and most of all: my attitude! I must lead by example! I must discipline myself to implement the new changes so that I don't fall back into my old ways! At the end of each show, they give you an update on the business...sometimes people revert back to their old ways instead of taking Robert's advice. I know that these changes will not take place over night, but I do know that one baby step at a time will make a difference!
 Perhaps you are experiencing the loss of someone close to you. Perhaps you understand what I mean when I say you lost your passion when they died. What that person brought to your life and your family is irreplaceable! But that doesn't mean you are destined to fail! You just have to move forward and understand and accept that life will never be the same! It will just be different! And different isn't always bad! It is just different! Maybe you're reading this and you realize you too need a "makeover"! Don't wait! Start today to implement some new changes that will guarantee success!
 Someone recently told me that I am statistically like others who have grieved before me. This is about the time (2 1/2 - 5 years) when a grieving person begins to emerge from the fog they have been in. They begin to make the journey back to the land of the living. I have seen God open my eyes to other things over the past month and a half. He has been showing me how I have let certain things go. It is like I was walking around half dazed after Erik died, but now I am coming out of it. I can look back and see where I lost my passion. I can now see the affect it has had on me, my kids, and my family. I also know that there is HOPE! The story is not over! Today begins a new chapter on my journey! My life still has purpose and meaning! I can help turn things around! It is quite liberating when you discover this! Grief does not have to consume you and destroy you! You just need a little help to remodel a few things! And unlike the show, you will have more than 2 days  to do it! But don't put it off another day! Start right now to make some changes in your life! This will become your NEW and IMPROVED self! And the overflow of your life will begin to increase!


  1. WOW!! You always amaze me.I think you will continue to grow and your family will be forever by your side.
    Love You!

    1. Thank you Sam for being so open and honest. It will help me to be watchful as I continue on this journey and to make better decisions one at a time : )

  2. Thanks for such a beautiful post. Everyone is different. I find myself wondering what is wrong with me, as I am the opposite of what everyone thought I would be when my husband died three months ago. I am not lonely, not scared, not weepy, not regretful. I'm joyful that the Good Lord took Tim in the fashion that he did. Suddenly and without much pain. I have a wonderful support system. A sister and several really nice neighbor and friends. Perhaps not having children to explain things to has allowed me to not worry like others. I have my moments, of course, but I am blessedly and joyfully moving forward. Every one is different, embrace your difference and grow from it. No way is the wrong way.